How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
