Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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