we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
