Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You are a genius and a whore.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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