How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
her vagine was all disorganized.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
