my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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