You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
