Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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