I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
