It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
