It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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