He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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