she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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