it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize