youre lurking in front of me
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
