We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
