i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize