I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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