It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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