So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
