I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and she was petting her beer can
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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