So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
