she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
