We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I cut my penus on the lid.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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