so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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