i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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