I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize