Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
