I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
