Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
