You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
