She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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