Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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