id be glad to
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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