She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
