nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize