At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The dick lei will go down in squad history
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
