I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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