I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
