I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
