i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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