Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
