the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
