This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
