dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your room smells of hookers.
And success
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
