Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
