Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
