I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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