just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
