I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
