I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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