I think i sorta joined a cult last night
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize