Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize