Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need a burrito and a hug.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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