My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
