I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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