My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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