Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
