I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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