Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
