It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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