garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize