yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize